Dave's book review for I Hear You

I wasn’t expecting much going into this read. Most of the better parenting books I’ve read emphasize validation and deep listening. Learning how to do that has been a long and eye-opening journey and I thought I had a pretty good handle on it. So I was extremely surprised how much I got out of this.

I think this book shines for a couple reasons. First, its not afraid to flirt with repetition to drive the point home. And since a lot of the trickier aspects of validation are so counter-intuitive (or at least counter to my own instincts!), it really does bear repeating! Second, the examples are excellent.

I really applaud Sorensen for his choice of examples. I’d be reading along and nodding to the advice, thinking I had it all figured out. Then I’d hit one of his examples and I’d have to admit that, damn, I really didn’t know what to say to that! (Such as someone is being self-deprecating.) The "solutions" to the examples are great.

Finally, I think the book makes a persuasive case for validation by reminding you how you would feel if you weren’t validated by someone else in each type of scenario. Even simple stuff like not weakening your validating statements with, "but…​"

It’s a short book and the advice is worth its weight in gold. Highly recommended for human beings who care about other human beings.